Recalling...

staring into the mirror...



i can still recall,
how ayah always sits facing the stairs
while waiting for me to come down
when we all are getting ready to go out or 'raya'
and as he sees me..
he would smile and say to his only girl..
'waah! Cantikla Mardhiah!'

i miss ayah


i wanna recall,
the times i accompanied umi to 'ceramah2 agama'
she looks so peaceful and calm,
despite the hard times and downs at home
problems that i wish i could help
by accompanying her, i wish i had

i miss umi

eventhough my home is not more than a 40-minute ride from uia gombak,
my reply to umi 'balik tak?' is 'no..' for 4 weeks straight
.....................................

walking to my office...



i can hardly recall
how many times ive slept on a mattress
as i often dozed off on the office or musolla floor
with the sleeping bag or 'telekung' as my blanket


i try to recall
since when i have been coughing
a week,maybe...
i dont hate it yet i thank for it
cause a pain or sickness is nothing more
than a temporary phase
yet a cleanse for my past sins
InsyaAllah..with Allah's permission


i cant recall
if i have taken breakfast,lunch,tea,dinner,or supper
i will only re-fill my stomach with food
if it starts to growl
it can be as early as 3 in the morning,
or as late as 4 in the evening.

in a few days time,
my daily routine will be back to normal
and in that few days time,
my days will be occupied with preparation for final presentation at the office