It's an emotional thing

When I was in boarding school, there’s this parent-teacher meeting and reports need to be sent. There’s one report on describing the parent’s child in order for the teacher to understand how to handle them. I remembered reading what my dad wrote before passing it to my teacher..

and I saw the word ‘introvert’.

It was the first time I came across with that word..and I deny being it.
Four years later..lower back pain. Huuu…
ive have been having it periodically since last July.


I have always been the kind of person to run or hide away what im feeling till sometimes when I got depressed or angry, I cant seem to recalled what im being all emotional about. I become unconscious of having the feeling of depression or just plain bad mood and not knowing why.

‘dun think to much!’
its what my friends throughout my life has been telling me to do.
I cant seem to help myself. It’s a habit that I have failed to break since my early years. I guess the experts (which were the four doctors that I have come to see to check on my back pain) were right!
‘Back pain is an emotional thing’

Cause I’ve x-rayed my backbone, and they tell me there’s not even a slight problem there. Well…I guess it has always been in here (inside of me). All this subconscious emotion bottled up inside (even I don’t intend to) are really getting on my nerves..or should I say, my back.

I was instructed to follow up my physiotherapy for every two weeks for the coming four months. But I guess that cant solve it. These pills and rub-on medicine that they gave doesn’t help much. I know cause I have observed a lot of time how I my back pain fade..i tried taking the pills and its still there. But when I try to think over the possible stress or problem im dealing at the time, and talk it over or such..i was cured.


So how do i not be an introvert who I have been my whole life?
I dunnu..im still am.
So the pain stays.
Back there..
and in here.

...........................................................................................
[me and my subconscious emotional back pain]

Subconscious Emotional Back Pain

Repressed subconscious thoughts and emotions are the main causes of unresolved back pain.
Medicine does not acknowledge that the emotional mind can cause physical
symptoms in the body. This is a prime perpetuator of the back pain epidemic and
the most logical reason for medical science’s poor statistics when it comes to
successful back pain treatment. More patients continue to suffer with their
severe pain than ever fully recover.

Types of Subconscious Emotionally Induced Back Pain

The actual emotions that are repressed can be powerful or seemingly
trite. Some patients have serious emotional issues often dealing with horrible
conditions such as physical or sexual abuse. Abandonment and neglect are also
common contributors to severe emotionally generated back pain. Other patients
have a back pain prone personality and are driven to experience painful symptoms
due to their own character and personal development. To these patients, even
small and seemingly insignificant emotional issues can build up, creating huge
reserves of pain inducing emotional stress.

People experience tremendous
emotional stress as part of their lives. It is the combined effects of the
extent of their stress, the amount they repress, their personality traits and
the circumstances of life that determine when and if symptoms will commence, the
length of time they will last and their severity.